TORY MLA DOUG ELNISKI: A TWITTERING TWIT

Doug Elniski as a Young Man

Doug Elniski, MLA for Edmonton Calder today

For those Canadians who live in parts of Canada other than my beloved Alberta, don’t think you are missing anything. Apart from substandard roads and health care, a lack of schools, services for seniors, adequate nursing homes, and overcrowded universities, many of the province’s citizens are represented by Progressive Conservative members such as Doug Elniski.

The knuckle-dragging 6 ‘ 7” Elniski who drives a smart car, squeaked out a victory against the NDP in Edmonton Calder in the last provincial election. Over the past few days he has shown that he is right on top of things when it comes to new technology by revealing his proficiency at twittering. Obviously using the technology for his official purposes, he recently twittered his followers that they should direct their attention to a bikini car wash where “girls look cold.”

In addition, In his capacity as an MLA he attended the Edmonton gay pride parade a few days ago. While attending to his official functions he tastefully twittered to his avid followers that at one point he was "surrounded by bumping and grinding lesbians."
Read: http://www.calgaryherald.com/news/Tory+draws+fire+offensive+Twitter+posts/1723327/story.html
But that’s not all. Recently while using the new technology to publicize his lofty views on junior high school graduations, Elniski posted some homespun advice to young girls. Elniski declared that "Men are attracted to smiles, so smile and don't give me that 'treated equal' stuff, if you want equal it comes in little packages at Starbucks."

He also opined, "There is nothing a man wants less than a woman scowling because he thinks he is going to get sh--for something and has no idea what."

For more of Elniski’s twittering intellectual musings, read: http://twitter.com/ElniskiMLA?max_id=2255128223&page=2&twttr=true

The publicity generated by the offending posts brought forth considerable derision from many thoughtful Albertans thus prompting Elniski to expunge his musings from the internet. He observed, “"To be honest with you, I feel kind of foolish because as I go back and look at it now I can say I never, ever should have done what I did." Indeed.

Elniski’s gaffes came only a few days after Stelmach’s Finance Minister Iris Evans said in a speech in Toronto that families with two working parents did not properly care for their children. Like the erudite Elniski, the high positioned ditz also apologized for her offensive comments.

Tom Olsen, a former Calgary Herald columnist and prominent Tory cheerleader during the dark ages of the Klein years, is now Premier Stelmach’s mouthpiece on damage control matters. He reported that Stelmach is not considering disciplinary action against this Neanderthal Calder MLA.

So, all you Canadians out there in the hinterland, you are not missing much!

THE ADVENTURES OF FAST EDDIE: THE ROT RUNS DEEP

Sometimes it is easy to feel sorry for Fast Eddie. I mean, he has plenty of self-inflicted wounds already, what with the alienation of the cities, campaign funding issues, shortage of hospitals, a boom that the government can't keep up with, yada, yada, yada.

But the rot is much deeper than incompetent Progressive Conservative legislators, past and present.

Take for instance the Alberta Gaming and Liquor Commission. A couple of days ago the geniuses who sit on the Commission made the enlightened decision to change its policy so that bars and nightclubs could hire children between the ages of 12 and 17 to work in their kitchens, washrooms, loading facilities and any other place in the establishment that is not serving alcohol. The decision was made at the request of the Canadian Restaurant and Foodservices Association as a way of dealing with a pressing labour shortage.

So not only does the Progressive Conservative Government love any business group that comes a-calling asking for changes to make it easy to screw over the little guy in our society in order to increase their profits (e.g. capping the insurance awards for soft tissue damages, privatizing liquor outlets, selling hospitals to their pals for a song). So to does its Commissions such as the Alberta Gaming and Liquor Commission.

Of course this should come as no surprise. After all, the Commissions and Boards of the Provincial Government are merely extensions of the Premier and his Cabinet. The members selected are almost without exception of pure Progressive Conservative pedigree who owe their position to the laying on of hands of Progressive Conservative politicians.

In the case of the Gaming and Liquor Commission, the Board is made up of people who have been appointed between 2001 and 2005, by of course the Klein Government. None of them appear to have any experience with Liquor, except maybe drinking their share at Tory Conventions. A couple have sat on Lottery Boards. The Chairman himself has a background primarily in Lands and Forests and the Environment. One of the members - a former P.C. candidate - has been on the gravy train for a while having worked on Appeal panels of AISHE and the Health Professionals Act.

Fast Eddie found out about the changes after the Restaurant Association Emailed its member businesses telling them of the good news. According to Tom Olsen, Eddie's loyal and faithful man-servant communications officer going back to his days as a columnist with the Calgary Herald, neither Eddie, Employment Minister Iris Evans, nor Solicitor General Fred Lindsay (under whom the Commission operates) knew anything about it. It would have been interesting to observe any growth in the size of their noses as Olsen was making that statement.

Existing regulations prior to the Commission's end run for the Restaurant Association's new demands, allowed kids to work in restaurants only and not in Bars and nightclubs.

The whole issue was brought to the Premier's attention by the Alberta Federation of Labour, which is naturally on the warpath about the issue, since the policy changes obviously were designed to get cheap labour for the businesses, and in the process take employment away from adult Albertans who would be asking for more money than the kids.

As things stand now, the Government has suspended the changes for further discussion. Evans, the Employment Minister, seems to be adamant that they will not be implemented on her watch.

Quite apart from the issue of having kids do adult jobs for less money to screw higher priced adults, there is a Dickensian quality to the whole thing. Why would the Commission or the Government even think about putting kids into that kind of work environment? Unless it was for more money for their business pals, of course. Its always the money. And its always their pals.