Thursday, February 01, 2007

TORIES, STANWAY, 0LSEN: FINALLY CHURCHED

Its about time, really. The Love Affair between the Provincial Tories and columnists Tom Olsen and Paul Stanway, has been an open secret to discerning readers for years. It has been as passionate as it has been long-lasting. Finally, it is sanctified.

Oh, perhaps not in a religious sense. That could have happened maybe in the old Social Credit Days, when Parson E. C. Manning was Premier. He could have performed the ceremony during one of his 'Back to the Bible Hour' Sunday broadcasts. No, in these more secular times, the more worldly Tories and their illicit love companions Olsen and Stanway, have sanctified their relationship legally. They have signed a contract to join 'Notsofast' Eddie's communications staff. Longtime Sun columnist and Tory cheerleader and apologist, Stanway, is the new Director of Communications. Olsen, longtime Klein insider, stroker, coddler, brother to Gordon who for years was on Klein's office payroll, and Herald hack columnist, is Notsofast's Director of Media Relations.

The Tories have finally made Olsen and Stanway, an honest woman. No longer will they be forced to deny the obvious. No more darkened, smoky bars, cheap hotel rooms, ducking around corners. No. The two Tory hacks can come right out and admit it now. They can honestly say, "Yes, we work for the Tories." No more shameless denials. No more dissembling. No more masquerading objectivity. No, its finally truth-time. They're working for the Tories, and proud of it.

In fact, they've been working for the Tories for years. Not paid by them, although their hiring after years of unflinching Tory loyalty in their columns, causes the raising of more than one set of eyebrows, and more than a whiff of whatever it was Marcellus thought was rotten in Denmark.

2 comments:

Raymaker said...

Hilarious...Stelmach is absolutely screwed with these two losers handling his communications.

Premier's Office female interns may also want to keep a wary eye out for Olsen's wandering hands.

Anne said...

Well put! It makes a person wonder how long this deal has been in the works!